Christians are straight up FREAKS
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Life is so much better after having sex.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
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