I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she peed on how many people?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize