I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
