everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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