I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
