Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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