Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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