Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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