He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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