I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
