I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
