how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
is it fun? or sober?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize