fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
