he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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