just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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