I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
