i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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