i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
