This is not my ceiling
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I forgot how hot balto sounded
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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