It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
