i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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