i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
