I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize