And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
