If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
