Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize