everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
