Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
