Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Sponge bath it is.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
whose parrot is this?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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