I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Text me some of your sweat
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