No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
