Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
