batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize