i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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