its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
