Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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