anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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