The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
