she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i think i just lost a toe
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
