Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You need a sexual gate keeper
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
