Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
