i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
