I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
