i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
third nipple confirmed
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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