You can't motorboat a personality
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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