i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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