She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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