She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
