I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
