chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
