I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
