But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
