I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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