i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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