Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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