someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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