She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
