does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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