so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you win again, gameday.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
