we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
