he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
do herpes really smell.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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