nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This baby is an asshole
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
