i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
